Tradition!

In the opening song of the Broadway musical, Fiddler on the Roof, Tevye (the Pappa), explains the importance of tradition for keeping their community and faith strong. Tradition brought order and reassurance in a changing world around them.

I think part of what made us so resistant to breaking our traditions in this COVID 2020 world, is how much we subconsciously (or even consciously) rely on traditions to make us feel safe. As long as we have our traditions, we have some sense of control and normalcy in our lives. Traditions often hold our values, so I get the fight to hold tightly to our traditions, especially when we perceive someone or some institution is trying to take them away.

I craved tradition growing up because I believed we never held any in the Davis household. All the “normal” families I knew had strong traditions around holidays, church, birthdays and summer vacations. For us though, tradition was illusive. My parents are two of the most spontaneous people I know, even to this day. Tradition doesn’t always fit into a life of spontaneity. We never knew when, or even if, we would get a Christmas tree that year much less what Christmas Day would look like. I was never confident my birthday would even be remembered much less be celebrated in a traditional way. So on…..

My heart desired tradition more than I even realized. When I got married in 2012, one of the things that brought me most joy was joining a family that held traditions that I would now get to be a part of. This became one of the most devastating losses when I went through the divorce. I was not only grieving the loss of one whom I believed to be “my person”, I also found myself grieving all of the traditions we created together and the traditions I inherited when I joined his family.

The importance of tradition cannot be denied. Tradition can give us a sense of predictability in an uncertain world. It’s something we all needed more than anything in 2020. When this year called for so many of us to forgo or modify our long held traditions, reactions of deep sadness, anger, and resistance were warranted. But I’ve learned tradition is so much more than the predictable actions we perform to celebrate something. Traditions can evolve without sacrificing the values that are actually at the core of these traditions. When we allow our traditions to evolve and we remain flexible, we are less disappointed and less stressed!

As I look back at my childhood, I can truly say, that although our traditions didn’t look like the Jones’, my parents had a solid grasp on what really mattered. Jesus stayed the reason for the season, not the Christmas tree or the presents underneath. We Davis kids were celebrated and encouraged everyday, not just on our birthday. And not knowing when our next vacation would be, just made us really appreciate any surprising opportunity we had to travel.

---

I’m reminded of a conversation Christ had with the religious leaders concerning tradition:

Mark 7: 5-9

5 So the Pharisees and teachers of religious law asked him, “Why don’t your disciples follow our age-old tradition? They eat without first performing the hand-washing ceremony.”

6 Jesus replied, “You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you, for he wrote,

‘These people honor me with their lips,

but their hearts are far from me.

7 Their worship is a farce,

for they teach man-made ideas as commands from God.’

8 For you ignore God’s law and substitute your own tradition.”

9 Then he said, “You skillfully sidestep God’s law in order to hold on to your own tradition. 10 For instance, Moses gave you this law from God: ‘Honor your father and mother,’ and ‘Anyone who speaks disrespectfully of father or mother must be put to death.’ 11 But you say it is all right for people to say to their parents, ‘Sorry, I can’t help you. For I have vowed to give to God what I would have given to you.’ 12 In this way, you let them disregard their needy parents. 13 And so you cancel the word of God in order to hand down your own tradition. And this is only one example among many others.”

A family friend invited the Davis kids over to carve pumpkins one year. This was never something we would have done at home. We didn’t celebrate Halloween- from what I understood, because costumes were too expensive and my mother didn’t want us collecting all that unhealthy candy.

Left to Right: Joseph, Hannah, Tarah, Abby, Rebekah

Indecent Proposal

“i’d rather be in charge.”- Hannah Davis

In May 2006 I graduated college and moved to NYC chasing dreams of becoming a professional actress. For as long as I can remember, this was my dream. At 5 years old, in my kindergarten play, I was cast as the Baby Bear in Goldilocks, and I was hooked on acting!

In retrospect, I really wasn’t a great actress. I never won a lead role in our high school productions, I was only ever cast in ensemble roles in college, and although I did land my first paid, professional acting job in college for an outdoor theatre company, summer stock theatre was hardly prestigious. But, I was stubborn and tenacious with my dream and I had an incredible passion for the entire process of theatre. I truly believed it was what i was meant to do, so there was no stopping me.

My very first NYC headshots at 21 years old. I was ready to land a very serious role!

I hit the ground running when I arrived to New York. I found a great photographer and got headshots, I subscribed to Backstage, an actors guide to castings and classes, and went to every audition I could possibly go to. I took classes with casting directors and made connections. In 2007, one of the acting classes I signed up for was a Soap Intensive instructed by, Bob Lambert, a casting director for All My Children. My scene partner was Michael Galante and I remember being so distracted by his obvious on-screen (and real life) beauty that I really never could get my lines right.

Much to my surprise, a month or two after I completed the class, I got a call from the casting offices of All My Children. They wanted to cast me as a bar patron. This would be a reoccurring extra role that could possibly turn into an Under 5. Under 5 just meant you would be a no name character that had 5 lines or less. So, it would be possible that I would be given a line like, “Hey there, buddy,” or “Wanna dance?”. The job as an extra paid very well and it allowed me to join AFTRA, the union for television actors, which is a milestone for any actor. This was MAJOR in my world. It may as well have been my big break. On my first visit to the ABC studios building, the doors to the elevator open and Whoopie Goldberg is inside on her way up to film The View. She was super friendly and greeted me with a smile and cracked a joke. I was on the same elevator as WHOOPIE!!!

We did A LOT of sitting around in the extras greenroom just waiting to film. One shoot, a wrangler came into the greenroom and asked me if I would like to help Walt Willy read lines. Walt Willy played the lead character, Jackson. Incredibly nervous and confused as to why in the world I was being asked, I agreed.

The wrangler led me to Walt’s dressing room and introduced us. We spent the next hour just chatting and not going over any lines of script. I was so nervous and slightly uncomfortable with the entire situation, that I really don’t remember much of our conversation. When it was time for him to go film, we said a goodbye and I went on my merry way back to greenroom to sit with all the other minions…..where I belonged.

Another day, another shoot, the request came again. “Walt would like to know if you are able to read lines with him?” I imagined answering no was not really an option, so apprehensively, I walked back to his dressing room, this time by myself. After a few minutes, I began to feel like I was on a date that I didn’t want to be on. I nervously laughed off flirty comments and tried to stay as elusive as possible. I became increasingly uncomfortable and felt trapped, not sure how to get out of the situation without offending this ABC soap opera star. As a polite Southern gal, you’re meant to be courteous in all situations. When you turn down advances from a guy who is being slightly inappropriate and creepy, it should always include an “I’m sorry”, a giggle, and a smile.

Walt continued his advances and told me he wanted to spend time with me “outside of here”. I got a little brave and pointed to the picture of his wife and child and said that I didn’t think THEY would agree that it would be a very good idea. He tried to convince me of their open relationship but I still turned him down as graciously as I possibly could. I left his dressing room sure I would never be hired again for another episode of All My Children. I was right. And just like that, my “big” television career was over.

Disheartened by what I thought I would have to do to get ahead as an actress, I decided I didn’t want to be a minion in a million begging to be cast anymore. I wanted to be “in charge”, helping make the decisions on which minions would be cast. So, I went after an internship with Jim Carnahan Casting, one of the leading casting directors in NYC for theatre and I got it. What I wouldn’t learn until later, is that the view from that side of the industry was hardly any better……

Cross Country (Dab)ble

“If you live off a man's compliments, you'll die from his criticism.” ― Cornelius Lindsey

I ran cross country my freshman and sophomore year of high school. My two older sisters, Abby and Tarah, were very good cross country athletes. I however, neither had the passion for it, nor the talent. 

I hated running in the NC summer heat and humidity. I hated how uncomfortable it felt to have my heart rate spike. Running was so boring and so unglamorous. It wasn’t like a sport where you make a big play and get crowd cheers and recognition. As the 4th child of six kids, it’s only natural to crave a little recognition.

My dad was an avid runner in his day and he wanted all of us kids to be great runners too. I don’t remember him forcing me to be on the team, it was just kind of expected. And because my two older sisters were so good (Abby got a college scholarship to run track and Tarah was always top 5), I felt the pressure to be just as good. 

I wasn’t good. And embarrassingly I didn’t even have honorable team ethics. Because I didn’t feel like my efforts mattered to the team, (if you didn’t place top 5, you weren’t earning the team any points), I did everything possible to try to get out of meets. Once, I faked an ankle injury mid race one rainy day so I didn’t have to keep running in the muck. I really hated not being good at something and when I wasn’t, I made excuses. This was true, too, for the 5 other sports I dabbled in through middle school and high school). I even feigned asthma to try to get out of being on the team but my dad just sent me to a physician to get an inhaler. I didn’t have asthma but I got an inhaler anyway. My race pace didn’t improve.

WHS Cross Country Team 1999-2000

One cross country practice as we were performing some core exercises, our Coach pointed me out to the rest of the team as an example of how to properly do the core exercises we were doing. I glowed from that recognition and as crazy as it may seem, it was in that moment that I recognized being strong as an accomplishment. I may not have been a good runner, but I was strong and had great form and that was pretty cool. Coach’s comment was a definitive compliment. Strong became something I wanted to explore more of and in my senior year of high school decided to enroll in a weight lifting class that would introduce me to strength training. 

I’ve struggled to love running my entire life and consider myself a seasonal runner- running only when the mood strikes or the weather is irresistible. I blame high school cross country for that. But, I’m grateful to have dabbled in the sport. It held that defining moment that led to my desire to build strength.